Expectations. They can be a bear right? Well at least in my life they can.

I had an expectation that I would be married within two years of meeting my husband. I thought any longer was wasting time. {He proposed after 6 years together.} I expected that buying a house would never happen for us because it always felt there was more month than money. {We have been proud homeowners for 3 years now.} I had expected that we would soak in all that married goodness, try for a family and boom, pregnancy.

{I am sitting here 16 months into the process of trying to have a family.}

After a few months I expected that there had to be a medical issue as to why we weren’t getting pregnant. All the tests have come back completely normal & “there is no medical reason why you are having fertility issues”.

Expectations.

I am not 100% sure why I am telling you all of this. Maybe to get all of this out of my head? I originally started my wedding planning business for two reasons. One, I absolutely love weddings, event planning, and getting to know my couples. Two, since I would be the boss, I could have a family and be home with my kids but still contribute financially. You see, I built this business on expectations. Expectations for the future.

For now, my husband and I  hope for the future but don’t get our hopes up too high. I sometimes feel like I am sitting in this circus screaming at the top of my lungs and no one even looks in my direction. I feel silent and no longer in control. I know I am not the first person to struggle with this and I won’t be the last. I have an amazing community of women around me supporting me, praying for me, letting me cry to them when I need it.

Are you in this tribe? Can we be in this journey together? Let me know sweet friend.